"If I don't get those shoes before her I'm gonna kill myself"
"I didn't know what to say to my crush, my social anxiety is so bad"
This is the kind of stuff we hear daily. A person who says those things has no idea what they actually mean. I have to make it clear though that I probably don't know either. I've never been mentally ill. But all of us aren't this lucky. And those people deserve better. They don't deserve to listen to other people make fun of their disorders, they have it hard enough already.
Social media can make so much harm. It is possible for people to appear anonymously on sites such as Tumblr, and that means people with mental illnesses can express themselves without being afraid of their family or friends finding them (I'm not saying people can't openly tell how they feel but when you're facing your darkest of times you probably don't want anyone to know). So here's the problem: they start posting pictures like this. Which is okay as long as the person who posts them actually feels that way. But then other people take part in it because they think the picture matches their theme or they just think it's somehow cool in general. And that's what I want to write about. Romanticizing mental disorders.
Being mentally ill seems to be the greatest thing of our time. People think they can get attention by saying they're depressed and quotes about sadness are always more dramatic than the ones about happiness. I can't even imagine what it feels like, watching people turn something you suffer with every day into a fashion trend. That could even make someone's disorder worse, noticing how no one actually understands what their life is like.
Why is it such a bad thing to be happy? I've had hard times lately, I've been suffering with insecurity and issues with my family, but I can still honestly say I'm happy. I can say I feel temporarily anxious, but I can't say I have anxiety. I can say I feel sad today, but I can't say I'm depressed. I can say I had one panic attack a week ago, but I can't say I have panic disorder. We should feel thankful for what we have; mental health. We should embrace life and try to help those those aren't capable of doing the same. What we should not do is purposely try to be like them.
Anxiety is not cute. Depression isn't fascinating. Suicide is not tragically beautiful. Now the latter is a thing I actually know something about. My friend committed suicide, and let me tell you: it was not beautiful. If someone thinks they should commit suicide to be remembered, it doesn't work like that. After you're gone, strangers post "rip :(" on Facebook, even though they aren't completely sure who you were. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture, but that's not worth dying for. They will go on with their lives and most likely forget you even existed. Of course your loved ones will remember you, but they will spend the rest of their lives thinking, "What could I have done differently?" They will be in so much pain that if you saw it, you'd wish you could undo everything. They will be mad at you, for leaving them without your presence. And. That. Is. Not. Beautiful.
There is one quote I saw and it got stuck to my brain. "Suicide doesn't end the pain, it simply passes it on to those you love." And that is honestly so so accurate. If any of you has ever had suicidal thoughts, I want you to learn that by heart. No matter what happens in your life, think about those you love, those who love you. Of course you should learn to love yourself etc, but this could be the thing that changes your mind on the last second. This may sound like a cliche, but it gets better. It always gets better. I promise. Also, if you ever want someone to talk to, I'm here. Even if you don't know me that well, even if you don't know me at all, I want to help. I don't want anyone to feel like they have no reason to live.
Now that was kind of off-topic but I just really wanted to say that. But my point is: Something beautiful can sometimes come from mental illnesses (they say the best pieces of art come from pain and maybe that's true) but they themselves are not beautiful. It's cruel to claim you're depressed or stuff like that just to get attention or to make your Tumblr, Instagram or whatever look better. Just think about other people. Just always think before you hit post. You don't know what it's actually like.
((I bet some of you thought my comeback was just a joke by now, but that's not the case. I've actually been throwing around topics to write about in my head and I have quite a few posts coming, I just need to find time for writing!))